(no subject)

I had several dreams last night.
One involved an escape from a cult, which was like a huge fake world, kind of Truman Show-esque, but the way to get out was these huge oak doors that lead to the street that my church is off of. I don't really remember much before the escape, but I know that as soon as I burst open through the doors, there was a city and a forest right around me. I sort of remembered my way, and I ran to my grandparents old house, the parish, which is like 50 yards from my church. The actuall house looked evil, and I didn't want to get caught anyhow, so I ran into their backyard which was actually a huge forest. I kept recalling the chants of the cult, and I thought the trees where singing them to me. I died there, incrediley frightened.
In the next, I killed a baby somehow.
In the last dream, I was getting married. I was sitting in the pew of my church with my family (I'm really not sure why, maybe because jenni was also getting married on the same day.. yes, a joint marriage... it's weird.) when I said to my mother, "I'm only 15." She said, 'He's a good boy." Then the groom came in, looking just as young as I am, tall and hispanic. He said something unintelligent, and my mother kind of looked at me and gave me a nod. I ran out of the chapel and into the gym part of my church, where there were a few random people including my grandfather. I asked him where Gabe was, because I suspected he would ditch too. Then the dream ended.
  • Current Music
    Queens of the Stoneage- give the mule what he wants

(no subject)

Why haven't I been writing these past couple days? A lot of things are happening, it's not the lack of subject matter. for some reason I feel like Livejournal is too cheap for my feelings right now.
  • Current Music
    Flaming Lips- I Got a Girl

Day 3- I just don't care

Everything went fine. Jenni/Michael/Tish/Kevin/Alex/Gabe/Claudina/Rolando/Emma/Kaylee/Cole/some girl who I don't know are here. ALL of them. Now where is that pesky David? According to my calculations he should have been here over an hour ago... : (
  • Current Music

day 1- over.

GT is the best. I did fine on the history final, A semester for me. Only four more to go, and I've been informed they're easy. Well, all except for English. Who knows of the hell in store for us this year? Oh well, I need to make a 70 on that final to make an A. Everything will be fine. I can't wait for Saturday. Or Friday. Or David-day, which will be everyday. EHEHHE. Nick's coming over soon, and that makes me happy. Queso makes me happy.

"Sister's coming over
I'm afraid to tell her secrets that I know
Painting without colors seems to make it better,
it bleaches out the world
Was it the end,
the end that kept you up till morning?
Was it the boy,
the boy who stole your heart?"
-All things Ordinary, The Anniversary

(no subject)

NicoleLB713: [i wish that] david [would] come and make me stop talking philosophy
NicoleLB713: at the tender age of 15
NicoleLB713: haha i crack myself up
NicoleLB713: my life is situational irony compacted into flashy, badly dubbed, 23 minute action-packed episodes
NicoleLB713: and here I am telling you who I am and who he is
Jenni the Odd: Our family could be a sitcom.
Jenni the Odd: You're a spinoff.

(no subject)

my face feel so hot, when i scratch it I can feel my cells rupture. I can see the red mark that I left in my cheek. I can feel them break.

You know, sometimes I wish I could hate myself. It would be really easy to cut and this and that and assume blame and do all of those things that angsty teenagers who think they don't know anything, but really think they know everything, but in reality know some things they might wish they knew later when nothing ever happens to anything, do. I can't do that though. I know I know everything, and if you think I’m wrong, then I am. If you think I'm right, then you are wrong. I'm wrong, but I fucking know. I can't fool myself into thinking that love doesn't exist for some, and that these years are just a bunch of little experiences and gradual change that encompass us all. And now you know me or you don't.
  • Current Music
    The Kinks- Sunny Afternoon


NicoleLB713: shut up.
NicoleLB713: I'll kill you
Jenni the Odd: I'll kill YOU..
Jenni the Odd: *sets up the eggnog I.V.*
NicoleLB713: yeah.